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Jesus Has a Message for Fundamentalists February 23, 2011

Posted by Mary W. Matthews in Humor, Religion & Theology.

To Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church; to Glenn Beck; to the Dominionists who have taken over Colorado Springs; to bibliolaters who believe that the Earth is flat, hares chew their cuds, and pi equals exactly three because the Bible says so — to you and others I haven’t thought of yet, Jesus has a message for you.

The long form of Jesus’s message: love your enemies; bless those who curse you; pray for those who persecute you; and forgive seventy times seven. Do NOT hate your enemies, excoriate gays, liberals, and other “evil” people; abuse mourners; or try to impose your theocracy upon people who not only don’t agree with you, they think you’re idolatrous heretics.

Here’s the SHORT form of Jesus’s message to bibliolaters, haters, and self-righteous Christian Pharisees:



1. Liane - February 24, 2011

The drawing was a funny,laugh-out-loud surprise. Well said! I found your site via Stumble Upon and now have bookmarked you.

2. anti_supernaturalist - March 14, 2011

God is dead, but not “Its” powerful proxies

• There are no religions only religious institutions.

Religious institutions have two components, one imaginary and one real:
1. faith-based mythological and cultic claims — a fraudulent supernatural component
2. demands to exercise secular power — an illegitimate political component.

In the US, a secular Republic there is no executive privilege for “God”.

• Faith claims are lies — Pretensions to secular power based on them are dangerous. “God” has been dead since Copernicus. But, 460 years later the US teems with religious institutions, many malign. They do exist, in disgusting abundance.

• So, I say unto you, “Followest thou the money.” Where else can an uneducated, self-righteous bigot, and male supremacist find employment? Fundie xianity has proven well-paying for lying anti-intellectuals since P/Saul of Tarsus. Look at Pat Robertson, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin. In the US, hate plays and pays very well.

Religions are ponzi schemes perpetrated by institutional frauds. Priest and televangelist, Pope and Supreme Ayatollah, bishop and imam — Liberty “U”, Focus on the Family, and Faux News are not “God”s proxies. They are political demagogues hiding behind supernatural nonsense, making illegitimate demands for secular power.

They finance pedophile priests, birth-at-any-price ranters, holy brown-shirts harassing women and murdering physicians. All this illegal activity is bankrolled by fraudulently obtained donations, illegal tax concessions, and taxpayer subsidies. They are aided by complicit judges, prejudiced federal police, fundie dominated state and local governments, perverse school boards of unintelligently designed liars.

• Since state and local governments are short of cash — let them tax religious institutions as the businesses they are. Tolerance does not include subsidies to intolerant organizations which openly desire the overthrow of the Republic and the establishment of theocracy.

the anti_supernaturalist

3. woody - February 13, 2012

Mary, what can I say? You did it again!!!!

4. anna - January 11, 2013

that is not funny at all i find that very insulting Jesus would never do that and i don’t want to hear one word about he’s not real because he is real no matter what haters say or do i will always believe

woody - January 12, 2013

I really think you missed the point. Jesus would love the assholes Mary refers to but would not approve of their tactics or philosophy. As to the middle finger salute, well, he was a man after all, as well as other things.

5. payal - January 15, 2013

please don’t put up an image of the Lord n that too with an offensive pose. fear the Lord.

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