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GOP Dictionary June 10, 2011

Posted by Mary W. Matthews in Humor, Politics.
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In its anxiety over making itself as different as possible from Pres­i­dent Obama in EVERY way, the Republican Party has given itself a lobot­­omy. Sane Replutocrats know that they can’t “refudiate” pro­grams that are popular with non-deluded voters — voting rights, civil rights, con­sumer protection, universal education, Medicare, Medicaid, SCHIP, etc., etc., etc. — and so the Greedy Oil Plutocrats are resorting to doublespeak, in the well-founded hope that most voters will take their language to be ordinary English rather than hyper­partisan code. Here’s a little dictionary to help you understand what they REALLY mean.

The American people:
This code phrase refers to the real constituency of the Replutocrats: the oliGOParchy. This elite group of “have-mores” includes the Koch brothers, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, Dick Armey, and others.
Ayn Rand, Objectivism:
The belief that the GOP elite deserves to exploit the rest of society without compunction or mercy.
Class warfare:
Expecting the filthy rich (the top 20 percent, who own 93 percent of the nation) to pay their fair share for roads, schools, health, defense, Social Security, public libraries, police, EMTs, emergency rooms, etc., etc.
Constitution:
Holy Writ, third in importance after the Bible and St. Ayn Rand. States that the GOP is always right.
“Death panels,”
“Obamacare,” “socialist,” and “job-killing” are good. “Medikill” is evil. (It’s accurate.)
Death tax:
Modest percentage on estates valued at $2 million or more; does not apply to 99 percent of Americans.
Debate:
Recitation of Replutocrat talking points and vilification of all opposition and dissent.
Disgraceful:
Any wrong committed by a Democrat that is one-tenth or less as GENUINELY disgraceful as a Replutocrat’s crime. For example: Anthony Weiner’s sexting is “disgraceful”; John Ensign’s affair with his wife’s best friend, and his attempt to bribe his mistress’s husband to overlook the affair, are wholly excusable, as is David Vitter’s patronage of, and diapering by, prostitutes.
Fiscal prudence:
Looting the U.S. economy and transferring it into the pockets of the oliGOParchy. In 1980, the last year of Jimmy Carter’s presidency, the national debt was $1.9 trillion (in 2009 dollars) and the top 1 percent (Dubya’s “have-mores”) owned 24.8 percent of the nation’s wealth. In 2000, the last year of Bill Clinton’s presidency, the national debt was $6.1 trillion (Reagan and “Poppy” Bush between them more than tripled the national debt!); thanks to the Reagan tax cuts on the wealthy, the top 1 percent owned 33.4 percent of the nation’s wealth. At the end of 2008, the last year of George W. Bush’s presidency, the national debt was $10 trillion and the top 20 percent owned 93 percent of the United States.
Freedom:
Allowing corporations, especially wealthy multinational corporations, to pursue the great god Profit without regulation, oversight, or penalty for crime.
Free market:
Unchecked corporate looting, polluting, discriminating, destruction of the environment, and selling of worthless crap.
Informed electorate:
Faux News / hate radio Tea Puppet True Believers who trust Andrew Breitbart implicitly and believe without question ever pronouncement and insinuation, no matter how vile.
Job killing:
Any positive idea proposed by a Democrat or hyperpartisan idea enacted by a Replutocrat. For example, Florida’s Governor Voldemort (who calls himself Rick Scott) purchased his job through two main tactics: a tsunami of Citizens United lies and smears, and the promise that he would create 700,000 jobs in Florida in four years. Between January and June 2011, Gov. Voldemort destroyed 45,000 jobs and took the credit for previous governor Charlie Christ’s creation of 50,000 jobs.
Liberty:
The condition in which a GOP voter can act of his own free will, no matter whom it might harm.
Patriot:
Tea Puppet making less than $50,000 per year who is working assiduously so that the oliGOParchy can take even that away from him.
The People’s Business:
Imposing fundamentalist theology on America’s women; depriving women, gays, liberals, brown people, and non-oliGOParchs of their rights.
Out-of-control spending:
Acknowledging that Dubya’s wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are not “emergency” spending and must be reflected in the nation’s budget. When Dubya’s budgets are reworked to reflect reality (the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq), Obama’s “out of control” budget is hundreds of millions less than Dubya’s.
Privatization:
Transformation of an inexpensive, efficient government program into an inefficient bonanza for Replutocrat contractors. The nation’s wars in Afghanistan and Iraq illustrate this, since many tasks that used to be performed by American’s military have been contracted out to Halliburton, Bechtel, Blackwater, and other GOP favorites. The average contractor in Bush’s wars earns more than twenty times what the average government employee earns!
Uncertainty
The length of time between today, when the oliGOParchy owns 93 percent of the United States, and the day when the Bush “have-mores” own US ALL.
Voter fraud
Virtually nonexistent in reality, where the phrase refers to voters attempting to vote more than once or under someone else’s name. For GOP-dominated states, “voter fraud” is the pretext for attempting to suppress the votes of college students, women who have changed their names, voters who have moved, voters who have to work more than one job, and other groups that are likely to vote Democratic. A given state’s obsession with this nonexistent danger is a clear sign of its terror that Replutocrats will be “refudiated” by disgusted voters unless their votes are suppressed.

If I have forgotten or overlooked a GOP code-word or code-phrase, please drop me a line. I plan to update these definitions regularly. You might also enjoy A Dictionary of Tea Party Terminology.

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Comments»

1. woody - June 10, 2011

You are a beautiful piece of work. Thanks for your wisdom and wit


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